Piccadilly Circus
by suspect tomatoes
Summary: Not just a town, but a state of mind. Birthday one-shot for CrystalxShip.


**A/N: Um, twenty bucks five-sixths of the people that read will have NO IDEA what I'm talking aboot. KAITLYN I LOVE YOU I HOPE YOU HAVE A HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT.**

"I need to figure something out for Kaitlyn's birthday."

Adam looked over, face bulging with a hit, eyes barely open. But Jay still caught his brows pulling tightly together.

Jericho laughed loudly. "You look like a turtle."

Jay glanced between the two. "Are you even going to try to help me?"

"What do you want us to do?" Adam finally let out a long stream of smoke, yawning half of it. He coughed a couple of times. "Isn't her birthday _today_?"

"Uh, _chyeah_. That's why I need your help!"

"Go _see_ her, then! Why did you come over here?"

"Because I can't celebrate her birthday empty-handed!"

Jericho flounced over to the mirror, twirling around, checking himself out. He was wearing the pair of glasses Jay had bought for his Jay's World movie. "Don't these glasses make me look smart?"

"Nah, you can still see your face."

Chris was too busy fixing his hair to pout. "I have to make sure it looks good for tonight. Nash and I are—"

Adam yawned, closing his eyes. "Dude, what's with you and Nash?"

"Well, he and I—"

"WHO CARES!" Jay stood up. "I need your help! Kaitlyn's going to get mad if I don't come home soon, and I—DON'T YOU DARE GO TO SLEEP, ADAM!"

But he was already out like a light.

* * *

When Adam finally woke up, he wasn't in his basement anymore. He was surrounded by desert, the wind blowing sand around the otherwise empty area.

"Uh, hello?"

A shadow passed over him, and he turned, staring up at the person standing above him.

"Jericho?"

Jericho said nothing, but wagged his finger, turning and skipping over the sand.

"Jericho! Jericho, wait up!" Adam scrambled to his feet, trying to catch up with him. "Jericho, where are we?"

Chris stopped abruptly, face solemn.

Adam grabbed his shoulders and shook him. "Where _are_ we?"

But Chris just lifted his hand, pointing to the distance.

"What do you—" Adam turned, jumping slightly. He squinted in the sun. "_Randy_?"

Randy nodded, lifting his cigarette to his mouth. "Ask me a question."

Adam pushed his hair back. "Where are we?"

Randy scoffed out smoke, looking around. "What are you, an asshole? Ask me something _important_."

"Okay..." Adam rubbed his chin slightly, before he snapped his fingers. "What should we do for Kaitlyn's birthday?"

Randy looked up pensively and dragged on his cigarette. "Throw her a party," he whispered.

Adam blinked. "_That's it_?"

"Throw her a party and... invite some entertainment." He flicked his cigarette away and started to turn.

"Wait! It's today, though. What if I can't get them in time?"

Randy paused, looking at the sand. "If you book them..." He looked up seriously. "They will come."

Adam just gaped at him as he walked away. "Wait, wait! How do I get back?"

"Just follow the weird, naked Jericho."

"Weird, naked Jeri—OH JESUS!" Adam covered his eyes. "Just... lead the way. _Hey_! Don't touch me!"

* * *

"Adam, _wake up_!" Jay slapped him again. "You can't go into a coma from smoking too much can you?"

"How am I supposed to know?" Ted leaned over him, checking out Adam's face. "He looks like he's breathing..."

"If Jericho was here he could do mouth-to-mouth..." Jay stood up. "Oh, shoot! Why did Jericho have to leave?"

"I don't know, but I'm glad I came over after he did."

Adam stirred, looking up blearily at Jay. "Jay?"

"Adam! You're awake!"

Realization hit, and Adam grabbed onto Jay's arms. "_Jay_! Is it still Kaitlyn's birthday?"

"Yes..."

"Quick then, we don't have much time! Give me a phone!"

Ted handed him his cell phone, giving Jay a look. "You guys high or something?"

"Yeah. You want some?"

"Well—"

"Hello?" Adam looked around frantically to find something to write with. "This is Adam, who's this? ...Anthony?"

"Who's Anthony, who's Anthony?"

Adam pushed Jay's face away. "Yeah, I'd like to book some entertainment."

* * *

Kaitlyn looked around the empty room, frowning slightly. "I probably should've thought this out better."

"Well, it's not your fault Jay threw out all the dining room furniture." Mack stood in the middle, right where the table used to be. "Does he even dance in here?"

Six cats scurried over Kait's feet before they disappeared into the kitchen. "Yeah, occasionally. When he can't sleep."

Mack nodded, sighing. "Well... you could always have a pool party."

"What else is there? A movie party? A lord of the dance party?"

"Jay would like that one."

"Where _is _Jay?" Sunny came into the room. "By the way, there's three-legged cat stuck under the table in your kitchen."

Kaitlyn waved it away. "I want to know where _everyone_ is."

"SURPRISE!" Adam came bursting through the door, Jay in tow, both blowing horns. Ted came in behind them calmly, shutting it with his foot. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

"Where _were_ you, guys?"

"Setting everything up!" Adam glanced around. "But... nothing is happening."

"No _shit_."

Jay pushed him. "I _told_ you they wouldn't be here in time!"

The doorbell rang.

Adam smiled. "I knew it! I knew it would come true!"

But when he opened the door, unfortunately, all he was greeted with was an angry looking Randy.

"Charlie's car broke down, I had to go get her."

Charlie rolled her eyes. "Oh, fuck off, I told you I'd repay you somehow."

Adam blinked at him. "Why isn't the entertainment here yet?"

"Entertainment? How the fuck am I supposed to know?"

"You know _everything_. And you appeared to me in a dream."

Randy grimaced slightly. "I don't want you dreaming about me."

"I wasn't..." Everyone turned their heads when Kaitlyn squealed at the top of her lungs. "What was that?"

"It can only be one thing."

They all looked at each other, nodding. "Jericho."

"It's-fun-to-stay-at-the _Y_! _M_! _C-A_!" Jericho danced toward Kaitlyn and put his construction worker hat on her head, whipping off his vest with it. "It's fun to stay at the _YYYY, M, C, A-AAAA_!"

"What are you _doing_?"

Chris paused in this middle of his stripping, hands on the button of his pants. "Well, I went home and fell asleep. And I had a dream that Randy told me that I needed to come over and strip for Kaitlyn!"

"Why are you weirdos _dreaming_ about me?"

"_This_ is the entertainment?" Adam pushed Randy. "I thought you meant like a band or something!"

"_I _didn't tell you anything!"

"Yes, you did! You helped me figure out what to do for Kaitlyn's birthday!"

"No, I _didn't_. That was just your subconscious vicariously helping you deal with your responsibilities as a human being through me!"

Kaitlyn nodded. "Wow. That was deep, man."

"Wait. So you're saying... that it's like, I just _thought_ you were helping me, because you represent the logic behind problem-solving?"

"Yes. But I like the way I said it better."

Jericho unbuttoned his jeans. "All I know is, Randy appeared before me, naked as the day he was born, and told me that if I didn't strip for Kaitlyn's birthday that I would never have a chance with him!"

Randy blinked. "That's just your subconscious fighting your resistance to your intrinsic gay attributes."

Chris's eyes glowed. "Oh, Gosh, you're so smart and... _sexy_—"

Kaitlyn clapped her hands. "Did everyone forget that it's _my_ birthday? Can we please just do the happy ending?"

Adam and Randy glanced at each other. "All right."

"FISH IN!"

Even over the roar of everyone partying, Randy heard the doorbell ring again. Jericho started up his striptease, so Randy decided it was the perfect opportunity to walk away.

Kevin Nash almost ran him over, trying to push through once he opened it.

"Hey, hey!" Randy pushed him back. "Where do you think you're going?"

"I have to see Kaitlyn."

Randy blocked the way when he tried to go around him. "You're not allowed in there."

"But my girlfriend's in there!"

Randy patted his shoulder. "A _lot_ of people's girlfriends are in there."

**A/N: A grease quote, inside jokes, and the entire script of Wayne's World 2. Not bad. Please don't send me to jail for this, copyright infringement. It had to be done for Kaitlyn's birthday. Review please. KAITLYN I LOVE YOU.**


End file.
